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[09 Mar 2008|07:05pm] |
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it feels so good to have someone new in my life
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[29 Jan 2008|11:15pm] |
I can't even begin to explain how fucking perfect i've been lately. Life is beyond amazing. I stopped my era of non-drinking. I enjoy binge drinking at bars and dancing on tables with my bestfriends, nothing is better than that. I finally feel 100% sexy about myself. I have the confidence to wear little and revealing clothing. I'm finally opening up to opportunities and allowing guys to enter my life and get to know me. It feels so good to be attracted to other guys again. It feels so good looking at my phone and seeing all these new guys that call me. By no means does that mean im slutting myself around. I guess I enjoy the attention.
No drama in my life is perfect too. Making ammends with all my enemies was probably the most mature and best thing i could have done. I can't wait for this weekend<3
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[03 Jan 2008|03:55pm] |
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im really sick. The past 3 days ive been in bed. I cant eat, cant move. WONDERFUL way to start off 2008
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[17 Dec 2007|09:44pm] |
hellllllllo livejournal,
I'm so tired I just need to collapse in my bed and sleep sleep sleep. Christmas break is in 4 days, i'm totally pumped for that. I'm excited for christmas eve, and christmas, and new years eve, and all that fun stuff. Going to PACHA on saturday with the girls for the christmas party, i'm pretty PUMPED considering its the best club in NYC.
and then there is alot to complain about like the fact that i probably wont be seeing the guy i like due to god knows what the fuck. But i'm done being the first one to text him and the first one to call. I'm not being the idiot in this relationship anymore, and i really don't even know why i call this a relationship when it really isnt.
I don't know why its so hard to find a boyfriend. I want a relationship like Grb and Nico. Bestfriends and lovers. thats perfect. A guy i can be around with 24/7, smoke blunts, laugh and fuck around with.
And lastnight was the first time in a really long time i had a strong attraction to someone. the type of attraction where i just wanted to jump ontop of him and makeout with him. hahahahah
and no heather, i do not want to smoke a "beef" with you. hahahahha
and when i'm out of it in work, my ipod is playing biggie and i draw pictures like this
gooodnight<3
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[12 Dec 2007|11:19pm] |
School was gay today, I need to get more sleep because ive been going into school looking like a complete bum. After school I went christmas shopping with grandma, got the CUTEST things ever. Then ate checkers and went to work.
It's crazy how i look foward to going into work everday haha. I absolutely love working with Caitin, Nicole, Christie, Gina, LINDA, and the really fucking sexy boy who im hanging out with this weekend :-P
And on a Random note:
Heather & Kristyn: I love you both more than any person in the world. No one will ever come between us, no other friendship we have will ever compare to ours. I'm so happy it is us 3 again. I'm so happy you both are in my life. If you weren't, i would be a mess. and I just wanted to write how much i love you two shit heads <3.
 </a>
this weekend= collegeeee friends home <3
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[06 Dec 2007|10:04pm] |
ive been coughing so much lately. my parents keep telling me "its fromm all that smoking you do". really? not shit. Im so excited for christmas, im soo excited to be off from school, im so excited for presents, im so excited to see this gorgeous boy<3.
work was so long and dragged out tonight, Smoked with christie before work, and beaned with christie and the random boysssss from work during break hahaha. i was just so high the entire time eating pop tarts and fucking up what i was saying to all the people i called, hahaha.
i was going to go to la boom tonight then i decided im not in the mood to go to a club, then i was going to dizzys with kate but if i go to a bar and come home drunk at 3am there will be no way i will be functioning enough to go to school and i already missed way to many days to take off. my life sucks.
thank god tomorrow is friday and im not workinggg anymore unti monday<3
cousins sweet 16 is tomorrow then going to a huge party in suffolk, im pumpeddd <3!
goodnight
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[05 Dec 2007|10:49pm] |
parents gave me an early christmas gift. bright blue reeboks, so fucking cute.
chris was going to buy me a carton of cigarettes for xmas but my mom yelled at him not to haha so he bought me these il white and orange dunks.
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[05 Dec 2007|07:12am] |
im so tired. i just woke up and school starts in 20 minutes. My body smells like the ridiculously good bud i smoked lastnight. I just want to lay back in my bed and fall asleep. Dammit i can't wait until next year when i dont have to deal with this 7am wakeup nonsense.
<33333
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[02 Dec 2007|10:17pm] |
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im inlove with you. there can't be any other explanation about why i care so much and try so hard. Im happy we are starting fresh. im happy im happy im happy =)
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[01 Dec 2007|01:42pm] |
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im really fucking tired and really fucking stressed out. I had a little photo shoot yesterday and i had to go to work at 5. so im on my way to work and what happens? I get into a fucking car accident. My first car accident. I'm sitting at a fucking red light and a guy slams into my car going like 25mph. I slammed my head into the damn steering wheel, and now i need a new bumper. I must have said every curse in the entire world to this fucking guy. Not to mention I only have my juniors license and i couldve got my license suspended, but the cop was a sweetheart and didnt write that i only had my juniors. I had to wake up so early for work this morning. I'm so tired so im going to go back to sleep unti ike 6. Then drunk times<3
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| 2 entries in one night |
[28 Nov 2007|11:40pm] |
so i just got one from smoking a blunt with heather and nicky. it was a nice ending to my really good night. My job is probably the best job i can possibly have. Its loud, its filled with halarious people, its blasting techno music and rap, and a huge room of like 30 people telemarketing for "slomans oil company". get paid 9 dollars an hour to sit on my ass to call people and talk to all my friends that work with me. hahah its perfect
but im going to sleep now.
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| perfect lyrics for you, my love. |
[25 Nov 2007|04:38pm] |
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Just to think about it, I would do things that I would regret to understand how I felt for you. I tried real hard time and time again but I didn't know my love wouldn't grow, I shoulda just let it go. But I, stayed around thinkin you would learn to love .
And we both knew, you're wrong.There's nothing you can do, to ever undo what you've done to me. I loved you, deep in my heart I know you couldn't love me, But baby I just kept holding on, I shoulda let you go.
Couldn't do without it, I felt I needed you in my world. More and more I looked out for you, tried to play me like a fool so I didn't care that love wasn't there, had to just let it go
Couldn't stay around, thinkin you would learn to love.
And we both knew, you're wrong. There's nothing you can do, to ever undo what you've done to me. I loved you, deep in my heart I know you couldn't love me. But baby I just kept holding on, I shoulda let you go.
And now I'm gone, plus I'd rather be alone. We both grown, lower your tone over the phone, aaight. I shoulda known, damn I shoulda known. It wouldn't last long, when you didn't come home to me. And now I'm on, in the zone, handle business on my own, So respect the queen on the throne, aaight. Here's some strong advice, move on, that's life. You wrong or right, and I gotta letchu go
And we both knew, you're wrong. There's nothing you can do, to ever undo what you've done to me.I loved you, deep in my heart I know you couldn't love me. But baby I just kept holding on, I shoulda let you go
Don't know why you would ever lie to me so,
But I shoulda letcha
Don't know why I could never let you go
Coulda, Shoulda, Letcha
Don't know why...
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[25 Nov 2007|03:57pm] |
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I'm trying to be the stronger person and walk away but its so hard.
Its going to take alot more than an "I'm sorry" for me to ever even consider making you a part of my life again.
I miss the old you.
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[25 Nov 2007|03:07am] |
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As of right now, i quit smoking cigarettes.
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[23 Nov 2007|10:20pm] |
on black friday the normal american women goes shopping all day.
Ashley Caine smokes massive amounts of pot all day.
its way too cold outside, hateee this weather
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[21 Nov 2007|07:59pm] |
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he's coming over on friday to talk.
I'm probably going to break down in tears.
I really don't want him to see me cry.
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[20 Nov 2007|06:41pm] |
Did you ever love someone so much, but never actually dated them?
well i do, and i hope it doesnt mean that i'am absolutely crazy.
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[19 Nov 2007|07:55pm] |
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once my foot heals and i start my telemarketing job with nicole (LOL) I need to start tanning again. Last year i was so tan and this year I am beyond pale.
Erin May, Kristyn & Nicole Jo came over after school to visit me. They suprised me with a pack of Newports that i needed oh so badly<3
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[18 Nov 2007|12:48pm] |
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my foot hurts more then anything in the entire world. i can't even stand without screaming in pain.I hate being stuck on the couch watching tv. I watched every episode of weeds, entourage, and gossip girls. I appreciate all my friends that came over with blunts, balloons, and flowers <3 I appreciate all the phone calls. Its just kinda sad my best fucking friend cant even call me. Oh well, now I know she isn't the good person i thought she was. And I will NEVER forget about this.
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